Running Rules

I get an email now and again from Runner’s World trying to entice me to buy something and today’s installment was a book that included running rules. Now this is a better piece of marketing than that one time I got a mailer that was covered in fighter planes and guns and announced “SUZANNE, YOU ARE WANTED AT THE FRONT!” That was for the military book of the month club. It got me thinking about my running rules. I love order so rules are right up my alley, though I am nice enough to apply my rules only to myself, I’m not the running cop. Rules are good. Without rules it’s chaos, right. So in order to keep running order, I present my running rules.

1. Never pass up a bathroom opportunity. Even if you think you don’t have to go. Go.
2. It’s ok to run (or walk) 2 or more abreast on a trail if you pay attention and move over when a runner approaches from the other direction. It’s not ok to hold your ground and crowd me off the trail, we’re living in a society here people!
3. When crossing a street or approaching an intersection, assume none of the motorists see you unless they give you visual confirmation.
4. Running in place when you are waiting to cross the street is ineffective and makes you look stupid, it’s ok to stand there for 30 seconds and wait, your workout doesn’t become immediately ineffective by a moment’s break.
5. Despite what my brother says, you can in fact eat a pop tart and have a diet dr. pepper before a race and expect to have a PR.
6. What you look like in running gear is way down the list of important things, as long as your shoes fit and nothing is chafing, your outfit is perfect.
7. When you run a race take your race number and wad it up several times and unfold it before you pin it on your shirt. That way if it’s windy, it won’t flap in the wind.
8. Most matters of decorum are out the window when you run, it’s ok to spit and blow your nose a la the runner’s blow, just make sure you aren’t upwind of another runner.

Tomorrow the wee one and I set off for Omaha. I am optimistically bringing my winter running gear. I am hoping that instead of curling up in a ball and crying about how cold it is, I will have the fortitude to get myself out the front door and warm up with some old fashioned exercise. So here’s your holiday mix tune for the day, Another Christmas at Home ,which is in fact about Omaha and the bar where the champagne’s on tap.