Ah…SUMMER! For those of us that have school aged kiddos, summer signals a time of sheer relaxation: relaxed moods, relaxed schedules and relaxed minds. For some parents, it also offers a chance to reflect on the school year that has past and look onward to the approaching year. AND if you’ve had less than a stellar experience with your child’s current school, you may find yourself questioning what to do next.
How do you know you should start the new school year at a new school? There are 3 signs that indicate you need to break up with your child’s school…check them out before they check in for the year.
**”BY THE WAY~”Our Disclaimer: we are not physicians or professionals. If you think your child is in danger in any way, please contact a professional immediately!
Questioning the “System”
Maybe you’ve been there: your little love comes home from school to declare that he or she doesn’t want to go back…ever. You analyze all of the possible reasons: Is it avoidance? A social problem? The teacher? You try to become a sleuth, (of sorts), in order to figure out what’s going on and you may discover the root of the issue or… you may not. (at least not instantaneously). All of a sudden, the security you felt in your decision to send your child to that school may be shaken.
Or, perhaps, the doubt surrounding school systems starts with you. Maybe questions begin to stir regarding the teacher’s knowledge base or, as you slowly watch communication dwindle and lack luster learning activities pour in, you discover your definition of “quality education” compared to that of the administration greatly differ.
Perhaps you continually feel a sense that the environment is more concerned with numbers than a child’s genuine love of learning. Whatever your reason for questioning your child’s educational environment, know that you’re not alone. More and more parents and caregivers are placing more time and, (in some cases), more money into their children’s education.
“When the atmosphere encourages learning, the learning is inevitable.”
― Elizabeth Foss
“GET TO CLASS” The Dreaded Front Office Scenario
For some, it may be the one last “little” thing that breaks your nerves about your child’s school, for others, it could be a gradual culmination over time. For us, it got to the point where we simply DREADED dropping our daughter off to school each day.
Between a poor classroom teacher, behaviors in the classroom that were continuing to effect her and, I kid you not, the “ladies” in the front office, were were done by October.
Let’s, for one moment, discuss the front office. I know, it seems like a weird aspect to bring up but, let me explain to you why this was the final factor in pulling our daughter out of her current school situation.
We bring our daughter into school most days. Each and every day when we walked her in (albeit we were late at times), these “front office faces”, were clearly annoyed by us and/or our daughter.
We weren’t looking for some grandiose welcoming committee. A simple “good morning/how are you —–” would’ve been enough to make us and our daughter feel welcome.
Instead, we were greeted with glares, or hardly even a look. A stern hand would flash a flamingo pink pass to our daughter joined with a short, irritated, “GET TO CLASS” statement. The rude behavior proceeded especially if she didn’t “get to class” right away.
There is one woman who would, despite the fact that she could see my daughter hugging and kissing her little brother, who would repeatedly speak to my daughter terribly–often raising her voice to tell her to “GET TO CLASS” over and over again–despite the fact that she was simply trying to say goodbye to us. How awful is that?
It got to the point where I began to allow my daughter to wait in the hall whilst I retrieved her pass from these ladies. I mean, who wants to start their day with that type of a greeting?
It set a tone for the whole day and, in our opinion, spoke VOLUMES about the entire school environment.
Our daughter is six years old, not twenty. She doesn’t “GET TO CLASS”. Why should I, a parent, be the one to point out this terrible behavior from an adult who is, in some cases, the first adult that a child or another parent interacts with once they get into the school. That did it for us.
So–lesson learned here? Whether it’s considered a “major” issue such as bullying or a teacher that is lack luster OR if it’s a “minor” issue that’s now affecting your child every day, it may be time to close the doors on that school—permanently.
Don’t feel that your “issue” is too small. Point being: nothing is a “small” issue when it comes to your child’s happiness, comfort and environment to which they spend so much of their time. If your child is unhappy for one OR all of the reasons we’ve discussed, (or others), don’t standby.
Know your rights, speak for your child.
Before the Bell Rings: What’s Next
If you’re having second thoughts about your town or city’s school system- stop and consider your options. Does it mean you should immediately change your child to a completely different school? Of course not. Should you start to reconsider what type of schooling is best for your family? Absolutely.
Blindly going into any educational system without questioning it should be a thing of the past. If we think about it, our children spend 6.5 to 7 hours plus per day at school. That’s approximately 35 hours per week away from home–sometimes more.
With your children clocking so many hours in their school environment, it’s extremely important that their school is meeting their needs academically, socially, emotionally and physically–every day.
Everyone has their opinions on education–it might be time to start listening to your own voice, (and your child’s) to decide what’s best for your family. Here’s some helpful tips:
3 Signs that Tell You to BREAK UP With Your Child’s School:
1. Your Child Isn’t Being Challenged at His or Her Level:
This was a BIG one for us. Our daughter has always performed above and beyond what one would “expect” for her age. From physical milestones (walking at 8 months) to academic milestones: (she knew her uppercase/lowercase letters at age two and was reading a little before her third birthday), she’s always loved learning and seemed to soak up every little tidbit of information.
She’s also an excellent “rule follower”.
Which meant, that if we didn’t advocate for her, she would simply “sit” in her classroom, (regardless of the lack of differentiation), and “learn” like her peers. NOT what we wanted AT ALL.
Then there’s the other end. If you’re child is “expressing” themselves during class by acting out…the root cause could be sheer boredom.
When an administration and/or teacher doesn’t differentiate, the results are devastating for students who are above the “curve”.
I am, however, concerned about the general culture at public schools—at least at the ones I’ve seen—of disengagement and compulsory learning. So when it comes to my daughter, I opt to invest a little more—to ensure she’s immersed in a community where it’s acceptable, and even admirable, to show natural enthusiasm for knowledge.–Michael Godsey, The Atlantic
2. Your Child Isn’t Thriving Either Socially or Emotionally
As children, we’ve all faced uncomfortable situations at school where students or, perhaps even teachers, were simply not behaving in a way that made us feel welcome.
Learning won’t and can’t happen in an uncomfortable environment.
This was the next factor that broke our trust in our daughter’s school. The environment was not only disengaging but unfriendly and not representative of what we would consider “a place where kindness and learning go hand in hand”.
What’s important here is to make sure we, as parents, really listen to our kids.
Here’s where you should draw the line:
- Your child is being bullied (and administration has not rectified the situation)
- Despite conversations with your child’s teacher, there is little or no follow through.
- The classroom environment is not conducive to learning (i.e. behavioral management by teacher is questionable, the environment lacks structure
- Communication between home and school is sparse or non-existent (your finding more things out about classroom situations from your child rather than the adults in charge)
- You or your child feels unwelcome. Don’t settle for anything when it comes to your child’s education. Especially when it comes to how you or your child feels when they enter that building EVERY day.
Bottom Line: ALL children love to learn. It is the responsibility of the adults who are leading them to help them succeed.
Make no mistake about that.
Picture and Quote courtesy of https://www.diygenius.com/unschooling-quotes/
3. Your Child Loses Interest in Going to School
Ok. We’ve all been there. Our jobs, school, maybe even at sporting events. There are simply “those days” where we don’t want to GO! However, you know your child best, and if all of a sudden your child’s behavior is changing without obvious reasons…it’s time to take a closer look.
Afterall, many times kids theselves can’t pinpoint what’s truly going on–all they know is that they want the situation to END.
While there are many more signs, we wanted to highlight a few that might easily be passed off as “having a bad day”.Here’s some signs you can look out for:
*Your child refuses to get up for school and/or often complains about an illness you’ve looked into.
*He or she suddenly loses interest in activities he or she once loved.
*Your child becomes quiet or unwilling to discuss school.
*He or she doesn’t want to attend certain portions of the school day (i.e. recess, lunch or other activities)
*Your child stops eating at school or at home.
***Please NOTE: Some of these signs can be an indication of a serious problem or that your child is in danger. The above are possible indication–as always– please contact a physician or professional for help.
Get Out When It’s NOT Right:
Ultimately, you know your child. Before they step on that school bus this coming fall, evaluate the past school year. Was something just “off”? What about the teacher, the administration, the overall environment? Go with how you feel and put a check mark next to these warning signs to double check the facts:
1.Your child is withdrawing/behaving uncharacteristically (not wanting to get out of bed was a sign from our daughter).
2.Lack of communication from school (you’re finding out more from your child than you are from the adults in charge–ANOTHER big one for us)
3.Teacher engagement is lack luster (again, another warning sign).
4.Administration (principals and even Superintendents “speak well” but perform terribly on making significant, positive changes.
ALL children love to learn. It is the responsibility of the adults who are leading them to help them succeed. Make no mistake about that.
DON’T Be AFRAID to BE DIFFERENT
While many people are herded through one type of “system” or another, there’s something even more important to be recognized here:
That there are vast choices when it comes to education. There are many different thoughts on schooling to be explored if the public education system or any system is NOT working for you or your child.
Homeschooling, private or Montessori schools offer other ways of thinking and educating.
We are the best advocates for our kiddos. Learning, at ANY age, should be fun, engaging and enjoyable. We can all ensure that our kiddos have the best experience possible simply by tuning into their needs.
We’re All in the Same Boat
Do we know where our children will be for the 2018 school year yet? Absolutely not! What we ABSOLUTELY DO know is that we aren’t allowing our daughter or son to be exposed to an environment that represents the opposite of what we feel promotes an authentic love of learning.
Neither should you. There are choices.
As for that terrible teacher our daughter had from last school year–she’s no longer with that school system. Hmmmmmm…….
Questioning your child’s school or the educational system? Have feedback for others who are? We would LOVE to hear from you!
Post a Comment Below! 
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We didn’t have Elmer’s glue…but that didn’t stop us! 
–Our daughter loves to draw her ideas out first!
