Get Rid of Mama Guilt: Self care is NOT selfish!

 

 

Self care

Is self-care something you THINK about but rarely take action on? You’re NOT alone!

It’s taken me quite a long time to understand that taking care of myself first is, well, necessary in order to serve others. I’ve always HEARD it, I’ve always understood the basic concept of self-care but it wasn’t until my little ones got out of the infant stages that I really began to digest what that meant.

Much of this dawned on me not as a result of my own breaking down into a ball on the floor (although that HAS happened before) it actually occurred to me while flight on a vaca with my family.

The flight attendant was going through the regular safety protocols and she went over the oxygen mask procedure.

Now, I’ve heard this one 1,000 times before: always put the oxygen mask on for yourself BEFORE assisting others and it always made sense to me BEFORE I had kids.

After I had my littles, I began to question whether or not I would even dream of helping myself first BEFORE racing to my kids.

Kind of a scary thought but I really wasn’t sure. 

This time, as she was describing, in detail, the significance of making sure you take care of yourself first, it really dawned on me…what good am I if I can’t breathe?

What good is it if I help my kids in any situation but I’m barely breathing (literally and figuratively).

I’m not sure where, when or why I began to think that my personal care was not as important as the care of others.

It’s not as if my mother or anyone else for that matter told me directly that I can’t shower before my kids take their bath or that I can’t go for a run instead of playing outside with my kids first. It was just understood: If I did something for ME, I was being, selfish.

I stepped off that flight feeling a bit flustered about this revelation but also feeling a bit relieved that I’ve finally understood why I needed to do what I needed to and in a simple statement figured out that wow:

 

 

Self-Care IS NOT Selfish.

 

Sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it? AS silly as it sounds, the more mom friends I speak to, the more and more this becomes an instantaneous reaction.

The guilt, the worry that you’re not being a “good enough” mom, the constant nagging in your head that there are 1,000,000 things to get done.

Here’s a little truth bomb: there will ALWAYS be 1,000,000 things to get done, and the kids—they are actually going to be GREAT whilst you go and have some you time every. day.

Whether you have infants, toddlers, teens or something in between all of it (we have a mix of all of them pretty much!), it’s time to start putting you first so that you can be the best YOU possible.

An empty cup has NOTHING left to pour out.

You’ve got to fill your cup EVERY. SINGLE. DAY! 

 

Self Care is not selfish take time for you

 

Make self-care a MUST and you will start to FEEL your stress melt away and you’ll be more present in your life and your kiddos lives! Good feelings all around!

Here are 3 quick ideas to get you going on grabbing back a little bit of YOU time so that you can fill your cup—STARTING NOW

 

  1. Start SMALL and start FIRST THING. Because NO act for yourself is TOO small. Whether you’re a busy new mom or an overwhelmed mom of toddlers and teens, small moments make all the difference.

The other day, I simply went to Starbucks. Really. I went to Starbucks alone for 10 minutes even though I was “expected” to be back home. I did it because I wanted and needed a moment and you know what? It felt Great!

Ask yourself: What is one “small” thing I can do NOW—TODAY—that will help fill up my cup?

 

  1. Switch to SELF. Make YOU a part of your daily routine and start in the morning. Maybe you have a morning routine or maybe you don’t (as a new mom—my routine was FIND TIME TO SLEEP!). Whether it’s 10 minutes or an hour or more, TAKE YOU TIME every day. You can DO it and the results will be empowering—I

I listen to Mel Robbins , Tony Robbins and JUST recently, Kathrin Zenkina. 

Just about every day I choose one to listen to for anywhere between 10 and 20 minutes a day! 

I usually listen to their FREE Youtube videos OR Podcasts while driving or on a run.

You can listen while doing just about anything during what’s called “NET” time (NO EXTRA TIME).

My dose of “morning magic” varies as my days with my kiddos VARY (especially lately!) and yours will too! 

Mel Robbins eluded to this perfectly when she said at one time in her life, her morning routine lasted about an hour. (WOWSA)

Currently, she spends 10 minutes for herself each morning–just because it’s the season of life she’s in. 

In other words: GIVE YOURSELF SOME GRACE! 

I think some of us mamas set our expectations for self-care so high that we throw our hands in the air and don’t even start. SO:

Start with 3o seconds or ten minutes but…JUST START.

Change your standards because different seasons in life bring different things.

This doesn’t mean we throw away self-care.

TAKE the time…any time…for YOU—TODAY MAMA!

First thing in the morning –BEFORE all OTHER distractions of life come in:

Ask yourself: What is my MUST (your activity) that I will do for myself today?

 

  1. Find activities you love to do—get back to YOU: Pick one of these activities to start with or add on your own but make sure it’s something you truly LOVE to do. Otherwise, it will become more like a chore than self-care and you’ll fall back out of taking care of AND being aware of you!

 

Here are a few of mine that I love (many of these are brand new to me and I’ve really come to enjoy them!)

  1. Grab a journal or piece of paper and write down your goals, what you’re grateful for each day , something positive you would like to tell yourself, write down things you love to do!
  2. Pray, meditate, just sit and be still. I do this every day. Sometimes it’s for 30 seconds. Sometimes, it’s for ten minutes. I don’t pressure myself on time…after all, it’s all about ME!
  3. Move your BODY! Time to get up and get moving. This doesn’t have to be a big EVENT! Get up, get out and get moving…even if it’s for a walk down the street and back. Ask someone to watch the kids, wait for your partner to come home, BUT make it a MUST.
  4. Drink water. Start with water…because it’s sooo needed! Be intentional with what you put in your body. This small thing will help you gain momentum to feel more empowered.
  5. READ! I’m starting off with reading ten pages of SOMETHING every day. I haven’t read an “adult” book since 2010. Kid. You. NOT. CRAZY—right? It’s not that I don’t enjoy reading, it’s that it hasn’t been a must for me to do. UNTIL NOW!

That’s it! NOW GO!

Find 10 minutes today.

Start writing what YOU love to do down (I know its crazy right…because it’s not necessarily just storytime or sing-alongs—it’s the other things you LOVE to do!).

Share with us below or send me an email! 

What are you doing today to fill your cup? Share something below! I’m going for a RUN! Woot-Woot!  

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